"Guys from Kazakhstan aren't bad looking."

And one of them smells like mint. *giggles*
It's true. I have photo's of them. (Not of them smelling like mint, silly, photo's of Kazakhstan boy's with me in the picture.)

*Ignore the fuzzy pictures and my squinty eyes. They were taken with a camera phone. And I'm sleep deprived.

Part of the Kazakhstan team. With my master, Yunne and a South Africa guy.

Kazakhstan.

Kazakhstan. He's the shyest among his friends but keeps giving me funny looks.

She's really awesome. Gold in sparring. Fights like a maiden warrior and sings like an angel. During the closing ceremony at night, she sang in front of everyone. Magical.

I can't remember which country but tough people.

South Africa

Ange is crazy over big, strong, muscular guys. She saw one playing with nun chucks and immediately swoon over him.

This is the guy that I mentioned about. Look at his muscles.

Today is the last day of the tournament. 17 countries participated. Included Malaysia.
Among the many few I remember is Canada, Scotland (I saw their kilt and macho guys in their traditional costume! Imagine a strong, tough man wearing skirt. Completely blows you're mind), Alaska, USA, Germany, South Africa, Pour ta De Asiago, and Kazakhstan.
I can't remember the others.

As I recall, while the judges were comparing heights for the 15-17 category, I was placed in the 'short' category.
Mum's exact words, "You looked so small among them!" she exclaimed to me when I got home.
Well, I felt small. Standing among everyone.
But being short has its benefits. One of the main reasons I got to win. Never underestimate shortness.

By the way, I just deleted my Friendster account. Got frustrated with the junk they keep sending. Laying off these social networks. For now.

I just got the email! It's going to arrive within 24 hours. So it's either today or tomorrow.
I can't wait for the package to arrive. Vick says I'm crazy saving up for it but that's her and this is me.

Oh, Nash, you are so wrong. I can't believe you said that. How did you even think of it is beyond me. Go and be all mushy and lovey dovey with you're girlfriend and leave me alone. Hmp.

It's late. I'm tired. Someone's in for a surprise later.
And I plan to be there. Got to sleep.
I'm talking in transitions again. Crap.

Till time brings us together again.
Ending it here.

P.S. The guy that smells like mint isn't in the picture above. =]

Will you knock and tell me it was all a dream? Please?

It feels so surreal.
I survived the tournament. I really did. *exhales*
It all ended the day before. And it hasn't sunk in yet.

Reality just blends in with hallucination.
Somehow, I wish to be there again. In the ring.
Feeling nothing but serene as calmness washes over me.
Sure, I was a jitter-bag full of jittery nerves as I sat waiting for my number to be called.

As you all know,I participated in two events.
Pattern and sparring.
I favour the first to the second.

For pattern you have to do it in front of six judges whose eyes are on you the whole time. Freaky.
After you complete the pattern of you're choice, they raise cards with numbers on them.
I did well here, scoring a few 5's and a 5.5. It meant I had a chance in the semi-finals cause the highest they give is 6.5.
The second pattern is a pattern of the judge's choice. This blew my chance to semi-finals.
Before the tournament, I just past my grading test and earned my red belt.
So I was suppose to enter the tournament as red tip not red, meaning a grade lower.
But my master entered me as red.
I wasn't familiar with the pattern for this grade so...
I did the beginning of the pattern and just stopped. Yes, you read right.
I just stopped. My mind went blank. I just stopped in the last pose.
Total embarrassment.
But I suddenly remembered and continue.
The judge who sat in the middle smiled encouragingly.
I got considerably low but I expected it.

I got ready for sparring. Wearing the protective gear.

As I sat waiting to be called, I glanced at my opponent’s face.

She had such a sweet face paired with a lovely smile. Just like a face of an angel.

Somehow it felt wrong sparring with her.

But looks can be deceiving.

And I was carrying faith on my shoulders.

I knew right then, I could do it.

I scored many points. Kicking and punching.

However, she couldn’t take it.

She tried to hold back her tears as it came pouring out.

But she had a fighting spirit and kept holding on.

As I was declared the winner for this round, I hugged her and said, “I’m sorry.”

This round, I won.

But what about the next?

I was in semi-finals now. I knew it was going to be harder.

Feeling out of breath, million of things ran through my mind.

But the only important thing was to breathe and to pray to God.

This time, my opponent was tougher. Plus, she was there to claim revenge for her friend.

Her kicks were harder. Her approach was more aggressive.

But it didn’t last. I fought back as hard.

Before we knew it, the ‘ting’ of the bell was heard. Indicating it was over.

In my head, I thought to myself. “You’ve lasted this far. But the road ends here now. Don’t be sad. Be proud for being here.”

As we bowed in respect to one another, I felt relief that it’s all over now.

But God had other plans for me.

As we stood side by side, the judge declared me the winner.

I couldn’t believe it. I really couldn’t!

I was flanked by a group of people.

In the moment, I felt like I was there, at the same time not. A hallucination.

My coach, Mr. Chong (a different Mr. Chong) said, “This is IT. You only have one more round to go. It’s all up to you.”

Yunne, the little girl who is my inspiration and derivation to go on sat beside me and gave me a huge large smile. Then she ran off. It meant so much to me.

I felt ready. I knew I was. No matter how this ended. I already felt like a winner.

A coward I felt like earlier, a coward I wasn’t now.

This round was tough. The key was to break her resistance cause I could see fear in her eyes.

Her kicks hurt me. Her punches stunned me.

She had a whole crowd cheering for her. I had my own personal cheer team.

Which only consisted of 4 girls rooting for me. However, it was much more meaningful.

She was persistent in attacking and cornered me out of the ring.

I was too tired to defend myself. I just stood there. My mind going blank.

Suddenly, all I heard was MOVE.

And I did, attacking her.

I could feel her defense dawning. I felt my confidence surging.

As the bell rang signaling the finality of it. I stood. Dazed.

Taking off my protective helmet, I turned to face my coach.

He gave me a reassuring smile.

I stood looking around but seeing nothing as my brain had lost it’s ability to register anything.

As the referee took both our hands, waiting for the judge to announce the winner,

the only sound I could hear was my breathing as I exhaled, inhaled and exhaled.

The beating of my hearts as it thumps, trying to catch up with my breath.

I could feel the crowd on their feet.

The referee held my hand up.

Everything went silent.

Like I suddenly lost my ability to hear.

As sudden as it was, the deafening roar of cheer echoing through the hall filled my ears. I was overjoyed. I hugged my opponent. And went to where I felt like I belong.

This....

is only a really very tiny, minute part of it.

The bigger part?

Don't bother asking.

I'm overwhelmed with cascading emotions to describe what I felt.

This to me, was the most valuable and precious gift I've received.

This to me, is worth more than anyone could ever afford.

I know this post is really long.
But it's for me to prove to myself that I'm not dreaming.
Other than a few bruises, swollen knuckles and an aching body, I'm fine.
Just really tired.
Can't wait for exams to be over.
I need sleep.

God was there with me and I know it.

Will be back. Soon.

P.S. Thanks for keeping me in you're prayers.
P.P.S. Thanks for being there for me.

.....

I'm very hyper now.
Sugar consumption right when the clock strikes midnight.

I'll just make this a very short post.

I'm a bundle of nerves, feeling unprepared and afraid.

I just want to make an announcement.

To anyone who's interested. SBS students.
You can publish a photo you've taken in the school magazine. (To budding photographers, it's you're time to shine.)
There will be around 4 pages for the photographs. (I'm not very sure about it but it's around that number. )
The photo must be related to the school.
Example: You and you're friends acting crazy in school, a portrait of teacher or a scenery of the school.
Be bold, be creative. Think.
You can submit you're photograph to Stephanie (Form 4) in a pendrive.
Preferably the picture be in high resolution.
Spread this around.

Ciao.

P.S. You're making me crazy. Know that.
P.P.S. I can never get enough of Kristin and Computer Science Geek's talent. Speechless. Breath-taking.

If You Only Knew.

You're all alone now. I can't help you anymore.
No more.

Sometimes I wish I hadn’t met you,

I wished we hadn’t got acquainted,

Wished you didn’t fall for me,

It wouldn’t hurt that much rejecting you,

Cause you’ll just be a random stranger,

A stranger that passes by me,

Without a care in the world.

But you had to.

You had to know me.

You had to charm me with you’re witty sense of humor,

You had to be part of my world,

You had to tell me you cared.

What was I to do?

Now, as I sit recalling the days,

I wished I hadn’t met you.

Wished you were never pulled my heartstrings,

For now, I remorse over what you’ve become.

Somehow, I don’t know how,

You found a way into my heart.

You made me care,

Though I didn’t want to,

You made me think that I could have stop it.

Even when I kept telling myself,

It was YOUR decision,

YOURS, not mine.

So why do I blame me?

Be anywhere but here.
Please.

Just a drop to say "I'm here, alive, maybe."

I should not be on the computer.
Anywhere near it or even touching it.
Why?
Cause of so many reasons.
They're unlisted.

Today, was a complete waste of time.
I should have just fall back to bed and continue my very weird dream.
Of all chapters to get, I got the chapter on reproduction. Pftt...
What a big joke.
Catching up on my sleep would be much more appealing.

Man, I'm so freaked out. Like big-time freaked out.
There's a taekwondo tournament coming up and my master signed me up for it.
It's a world tournament. And everyone stresses on the WORLD.
I'm in for the pattern and sparring.
Training is tough. And I feel so not ready.
The worst part is that it's all SOLO. Alone.
I get all fidgety when I freak out.
Since this is my first time in a tournament, I expect the worse.
Don't blame me kay.
I never dreamt of joining one. Not in my wildest dream. Never.
So I have every right to be freaked out.
And to pile it on, intervention 3 is the day after the tournament.
Oh joy.

The punching bag that we used to practice on has now become a bean bag.
I'm serious. The guys kick bloody hard. All I manage is a few miserable kicks out of me.
Getting weaker and weaker after the next kick.
My knuckles hurt like mad after punching and my carpals (wrist) feel like they've been disconnected from my joints.
This is worse than last year. I have no idea what I've got myself into.
Eventhough I'm freaked out in doing the pattern alone, I'm still okay with it compared to sparring.
Sparring with my brother is something I look forward to, but sparring with a total stranger?
Might as well ask me to climb the Himalayan mountains. I'd rather do that.
I guess I watch to much violence movies back then. All the blood and body fluids gushing out from a body.
Really shatters you're confidence.

Gasping for air,
Eyes shut in anticipation,
Withholding the pain that flows through,
Beads of sweat trickling down the spine,
Drop by drop,
It falls.

Everytime they sit and stare at me,
A surge of emotions tumble through me.
Mostly I want to run away,
Far away from this nightmare.
But I can't.
Cause I know I have to face it.
Words can't describe what's going on inside me.
I can't wait for it to be over.
But I'll regret it when it's over.
Ironic, ain't?

Choral speaking in secondary school is totally chaotic and dramatic. Fueled of energy, zest, laughter, annoyance, frustration and tears.

Gwen, Me & Jia. Time sure whizzes by...

People. Lol.

It was crazy. We went, we did it, we rocked our worlds!! *laughs out loud*
The journey in the bus was crazy, WE (well, most of us) were crazy. LOL. I have no comment about the bus. *Pftt*

I watched Transformers 2. I really did!!
With Jen and my brother.
Totally awkward.
Yeah, but oh-so-worth-it.
Now, no one will talk to me cause I babble to much and give them all the spoilers.
So, I'm stuck with my brother to debate with.
I want to watch it again but I doubt I'll have the chance.

This is all for now. As usual, I have a lot to say. But words just get stuck in my head.
Check back here several weeks later.
Ciao.

P.S. I know what you did for me. I'm left by the side, speechless.
P.P.S. Dude, you got to stop calling me "that". *pouts*

Huh.

Truth to be told. I tried to update a few times after the last post. BUT. Yes, there's a but.
But I got so distracted by all my multi-tasking that I abandoned that task. Smart, nay?

"Loving someone who doesn't love you back is like reaching out for a star you know you'll never reach but you just got to keep trying."

Awwhhh... Why are the holidays whizzing by without me having a single clue?
I still have so many things I want to do. *moans*
However, I've been slightly cured by two doses of full-action-packed-crime tv series.
CSI:NY and BONES!!
Watched two full seasons last week. Fantabulastic. I made that word up. Or maybe I heard that somewhere.
Anyway, I can eat while watching some random sicko blowing up a human body or a pathologist with a dark sense of humor pulling the organs out for lab results.
Yea, I can actually eat with all the blood and gore. Doesn't dampen my appetite at all.
That day, I saw a dead corpse of a cat lying by the side of the road. All's left was the bones and some organs. I think it's been there for a while but I wasn't freaked out when I saw it.
Conclusively, proven by me that these shows help with all the blood and gore.

So now, I'm on Gilmore Girls. Way out of date but hey, a show is a show right? Doesn't matter when it was released. As long as it's good. And it sure is.
First, the voice I hear in my head is Brennan from Bones and now, it's Rory from Gilmore Girls.
Signs that I'm crazy but I knew that already.

All I know now is that when school reopens, I'll be a piece of dead meat.
He calls her up telling her about it and how he needed me in it and she gave me less than a day to decide. What am I going to tell her the next day? He wants the answer and she wants my response. It's going to two bloody long weeks if I say yes. Which she expects me to. I just don't want to think about it now. Wait till the next day.

Mum wants me to learn knitting or crocheting after PMR. Total weirdness.
There's a difference between knitting and crocheting. There actually is. Go check it out if you're sitting around doing absolutely nothing, something to do with the needles apparently.
You know, I never thought of myself as the one to take up anything that has to do with sewing or connected to it. We'll wait and see how things turn out..

Okay, I'm speaking in transitions again. That has to stop. How? I'll figure it out next time.
I'll figure it out, but till then, if you're reading this, deal with it. =]

This post feels long but it's not. I'm going to bed. Night.

P.S. I have pictures which I took and can't wait to post them.
P.P.S. It's hard. It really is.
P.P.P.S. I have to stop my really bad habit. Today's the last day. It will be.

ROFL.

Between Vick and I.

Kaylee- Through the pinhole. You'll do wonders. =] says:
i'm so hyper
Kaylee- Through the pinhole. You'll do wonders. =] says:
it's like i just drank coffee
Vicki says:
hmm
Vicki says:
you're always so hyper, darling.

Is that true?
I really hope it's not cause I feel so emo-ish sometimes and mad at myself half the time and baffled at the world most of the time. Nah... Doesn't make any sense.

I finally got to talk to my long lost buddy today. He's as perverted as any guy can be but I've miss him so much.
Yes, he annoys me but hey, at least he listens when I'm down and does the darnest thing to cheer me up.
We had a long chat and I got insulted so many times that I've lost count. That's what I get when I fulfill my promise to get in touch with him after my exams. *sighs* The world is coming to an end.
I have no idea where the last line came from. *ROFL* Anyhow, we both share a great deal and did some catching up. That's all that mattered.
Note to self, "Must not abandon friends." Tee-hee...

I love this.

It's a dream-catcher actually. It's a dainty little thing from the Native Americans. Check it out.

I must go now. Got to watch Britain's Got Talent FINALS.
All Vick and Chris fault for getting me addicted. Haha.. Blame them instead.

Ciao.

P.S. You owe me dude. And no, I don't want you singing at my wedding.